Model for Mutual Influence

How can we influence people most effectively for Christ across different cultures?



Consider this – your mission trip to Mexico......

What do we see? What do we feel?

The American Perspective
Jason had left from an airport in Colorado more than 10 hours before finally arriving in Tecate, a scrappy border town in northwest Mexico.

It was his first trip out of the country and he would stay for 10 days. Jason was a professional contractor and he was eager to lend his skills toward leading a group of 24 from his church in building a home for a family of five who for years had forfeited more than 60 percent of their income to cover rent. They had been shown photos of the family and the children had dirt on their faces and tattered clothes.

The trip had taken a great deal of planning and preparation and the 25 had been praying together regularly for weeks prior to their departure. It was their hope to not only finish the home and run a Vacation Bible School, but to generate excitement and hope in the community and to empower the church they would stay at. Above all else, they had prayed fervently for the opportunity to lead others to salvation in Christ.

It was dark and very warm when they arrived and American volunteers helped them get situated in the church. Jason knew the summer heat would affect the team and asked God to give them the strength and discipline to work well.

They awoke early the next day and after breakfast, a few cups of coffee and a group prayer, Jason grabbed his tool belt and got a team of 10 loaded into the van to head to the work site. Romero, the father of the family that would receive the home had been given money to purchase building supplies and was to meet the volunteers at the work site.

After a 35-minute wait, Jason grew concerned that they had the wrong site. He told the others to wait and drove back to the church and double-checked the directions. They were correct. He drove back to the site and found the workers scattered around the area, crouching in the shade of large rocks.

"Ok everybody," he said, and the crew perked up. "This is the right spot. I'm not sure what the delay is, but Romero is supposed to be here, so we've just got to sit tight for a while."

An hour later, he grew even more concerned. He was about to return to the church and check again when Romero pulled up.

Speaking through a translator, Jason asked him what had happened.

"I ran out of gas," Romero said. "I had to walk to the gas station and it took longer than I thought it would. I'm sorry for the delay."

Before the interpreter had finished relaying the entire message, Jason heard a cell phone chime. Romero reached in his pocket to answer it.

A cell phone? Jason thought. This man can barely afford food for his family and he has a cell phone?

Romero got off the phone.

"We have to get the walls done today," Jason said. "We've got four days to build this house and we're going to have to work extra now in order to stay on schedule. If the wood had been here, we could be working right now."

Romero apologized again and explained that he was worried the material would be stolen.

He's known for months now that we were coming, Jason thought. Why on earth did he wait until the last minute to deal with this? Couldn't he at least have called somebody?

After a day full of similar hiccups in the operation, Jason grew frustrated. He had turned down significant contracting work in Colorado to go to Tecate. He tried to convey to the other volunteers that some better coordination was needed, but they seemed more interested in talking with each other and Mexicans living nearby. So for the rest of the trip, Jason took matters into his own hands. He coordinated the purchasing of materials, handled the most complicated tasks himself and kept the pace of the construction work high enough to get the job done, even if that meant working without Romero.

Jason noticed that Romero started to seem uncomfortable around him and he stayed that way throughout the course of the week. He tried to be as friendly as possible, but sensed that a distant and impersonal politeness--the kind one would expect from a bank teller or grocery clerk--was to be the extent of their relationship.


What do they see? What do they feel?

The Local Perspective
Romero worked construction and had not had a day off for weeks before the Americans arrived. While his family would soon move into a home built by the team, he had recently drained their account to pay rent and he needed to work as much as possible to keep food on the table for the week he would go without pay to help the Americans build. His children were excited about meeting Americans at Vacation Bible School and his 6-year-old daughter Lucero was dreaming up different ways they could decorate their house.

He woke up and drove down the narrow dirt road toward the supply store. He had just enough gas to get there and then to the job site. He was hoping the volunteers would give him some gas money--they had offered to cover all costs associated with the project--but he had not yet decided whether he would ask for it. After all, they were already giving him a house. Romero knew it wouldn't be anything fancy, but he did not care. He considered it an amazing blessing and was thrilled when his pastor first told him about it. He had been working as hard as possible and praying for anything that could help his family escape their current cycle of scraping by from paycheck to paycheck. This was it, and the day of construction had finally arrived. He was overwhelmed with joy.

He walked into the supply store and asked for the wood he had reserved the previous week.

"We'll get it ready for you," the man at the counter said. "Just pull your truck around back and we'll load it."

He drove his truck around and left it idling. The pastor had told Romero that he should be as involved as he could be in the construction. He had been assigned to deliver the wood to the job site the day before. Though he felt somewhat guilty about waiting until the morning of the first day of work, theft in Tecate was commonplace and he was concerned it would be stolen. Romero waited for a while, but the crew appeared tied up. He walked into the warehouse.

"Is this it?" he asked, pointing to a stack of two-by-fours and plywood.

"Yes," one of the men said. "Give is just one second."

He waited a moment longer, his truck still idling, and eventually started shouldering the wood and loading it himself. Eventually the crew started to help him.

"We're very busy today," one of them said.

They finished and Romero headed toward the job site. With ten minutes of driving left, his fuel light came on. He could not remember how long he could drive after the light came on. Twenty kilometers? Forty kilometers? It made him nervous to see it, but he was already slightly late and did not want to make a bad impression.

It was not long before the truck sputtered and died.

"No!" Romero shouted, and tried to start it again. It coughed and sputtered and died again. He hit the dashboard with the heel of his palm and steered the coasting truck to the side of the road.

It would take him at least twenty minutes to walk to the nearest gas station. He felt a vicious anger welling up in him and he scolded himself for not planning better. He could have purchased gas, but on his family's strict budget that could have meant forcing his children to skip a meal. Still, they were giving him a home, he thought, and they should have been willing to make the sacrifice to ensure that everything went well.

Stop it, he thought. No more 'if only' thinking. I must continue forward. Get out of the truck and get to it.

Romero had forty pesos in his pocket--just enough to buy a small gas can and a trickle of fuel. He had saved the money for food but now had no choice but to use it. He walked to the gas station, bought the gas and walked back. The walk took longer than he expected and he was now almost two hours late.

He finally pulled up and was slightly taken aback. The team was wearing brand-new green t-shirts. Almost everyone had a watch. Their jeans and shoes looked practically brand-new, and their sunglasses looked expensive. A man with a sturdy leather tool belt and canvas work pants walked up, accompanied by a short woman in her early 20s. He smiled and said hello and shook their hands.

"I'm Natalie and this is Jason. He's leading the construction project," the woman said. "He doesn't speak Spanish, so I'm going to interpret for him."

"Ok," Romero said.

Jason spoke to the woman.

"He was curious about what happened. He said he thought you guys were going to start at 9," Natalie said. It was 11:00.

He explained that he had gone for the materials and run out of gas. His cell phone rang.

"Is Lucita there?" a woman asked.

"No," Romero said. "I'm not with her right now."

"Is this a cell phone? What's your home number?" she asked.

"This is the only phone we use. Can I take a message?"

He made a mental note of the woman's name and said goodbye, and then turned back toward the Americans. "Tell him I'm sorry for not bringing the wood yesterday, but I was worried it would get stolen. Materials are stolen here frequently."

Natalie relayed the message and Jason responded. "He said we're now quite a bit behind schedule, and we're going to have to work extra to day to get the walls done if we want to stay on track."

"Tell him that I am very sorry and I will be glad to work day and night," Romero said.

Natalie relayed the message and Jason smiled and nodded.

Toward the end of the day, Romero got the impression that Jason wanted to handle the job himself. He helped where he could, but felt almost like a nuisance--as though he were constantly interrupting them.

It progressed exactly like that throughout the week. While he was thrilled to see the small home going up bit by bit, his interactions with the Americans, including those who spoke Spanish, seemed strained. He got the impression they were there to get the job done and they would have done it for anybody. To them, he was simply another Mexican.

When he started to think like this he would silence himself and focus on being grateful for the home.

How can the Model for Mutual Influence be applied to this scenario?

The EM Model for Mutual Influence suggests a process that would help Jason and his mission team avoid some of the issues that they faced. But it involves a different mindset as to their role and goals within the mission trip. As you read through this model, consider how it could, if understood and practiced, have affected the Mexico mission scenario.



Love & Accept
As Christians, we become visual pictures of God's love to those we touch. We come to show His love as we care for people

• What does God's love look like?
• What is our ultimate motive for caring, interacting and sharing our life?

Out of love we are able to resist our natural tendency to judge and try to change others. When we give RESPECT to another person—as a genuine act of love--it allows us to simply accept them as they are: unique creations of a loving God.

My job is not to change people, but to love them.
The scripture tells us to "Love one another" ... and also to "Accept one another"


Listen & Learn
How we enter into new relationships within a cross-cultural setting is very important. We come to listen and learn, which begins with an intentional focus that moves our attention away from our own personal interests, values and faith. We must center our attention on another person's world in order to build TRUST..

• How do they see life?
• How do they see the world?
• How do they see faith?

My job is not to teach people, but to learn alongside them. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matt. 11:28-30)


Serve & Partner
Servanthood is love acting in life's relationships. We serve others best by partnering with them—by recognizing what they have to contribute and how our collaboration will bring a better, longer lasting result while maintaining the dignity and sense of worth of all involved.

My job is not to take care of people, but to serve in partnership with them. "I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the Gospel from the first day until now." (Phil. 1:4-5) ... "As for Titus, he is my partner and fellow worker among you." (2 Cor. 8:23)


Reciprocal Change
As we interact and demonstrate respect for people, the diversity of our lives creates opportunities for reciprocal learning, growth and life change. We have something to learn from everyone once we set aside our personal judgments and cultural prejudices—things we may have previously used to determine a person's worth.

My job is not to change others, but to change myself. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2)


The EM Model for Mutual Influence helps provide an approach to the important issues of establishing respect and trust in new cultural relationships.

Understanding the importance of respect, trust and personal dignity ultimately can determine whether change is forced or the influence of growth and change is mutual.

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